MLB New Import Tracker (Jul 15-Aug 12, 2008)

Kosuke Fukudome, RF—#1—Chicago Cubs
Birthplace: Kagoshima, Japan
Fukudome is colder than a witch’s tit. He was voted in as a starter in the All-Star Game, and since then he’s hit .227/.306/.360. For August? His OBP is .188, although he has reached safely in 42 of his last 53 games. Even worse, his woes at the plate have drawn the attention of manager Lou Piniella, and if there’s one man whose doghouse you’d rather never be in, it’s Sweet Lou’s. If Piniella decides Fukudome needs to ride some pine, we may never see this Japanese import play for the Cubs again.

That’s an exaggeration of course, but I do want to illustrate what a deep, dark place Piniella’s doghouse is, and to emphasize that, like that crazy electric barrier in Level 2, Base 1 in the NES’ Contra, the one that lit you up whenever you touched it, Fukudome needs to do everything in his power to stay the hell out of there.

Kazuo Fukumori, RP—#14—Texas Rangers
Birthplace: Osaka, Japan
Demoted to AAA-Oklahoma.

Masahide Kobayashi, RP—#30—Cleveland Indians
Birthplace: Yamanashi, Japan
This guy’s first season as part of a major league bullpen has been less like The Natural and more like Project Runway, or as Heidi Klum would say: In fashion, one day you’re in, and the next day you’re out. He notched two saves in July, was briefly named the closer, posted a 5.59 ERA, and took a loss. He’s appeared only once in August, coming in to rescue a blown save by Edward Mujica. But Kobayashi allowed a base hit to countryman Akinori Iwamura, walked the intimidating Ben Zobrist, then allowed a game-ending, three-run jack to Carlos Pena. That’s a couple times now this season I’ve seen Mr. Kobayashi turn around, face the center field camera, and watch a homerun disappear into the stands to end the game. Bottomline is, this bullpen is a mess, but it’s only one messy part of a larger, even messier ballclub. I think everyone in the Mistake on the Lake is ready to look toward next year. Too bad there’s 45 or so games left on the schedule.

Hiroki Kuroda, RP—#18 —Los Angeles Dodgers
Birthplace: Osaka, Japan
Following a July in which he went 2-2 with a 5.24 ERA, Kuroda’s been almost untouchable in August with a 1.17 ERA, 1.24 WHIP and a 5 to 1 K/BB ratio. He held Arizona to one run on four hits on Aug. 2 to earn a victory; he allowed eight hits and two walks and only one run against San Francisco on Aug 9 but didn’t figure into the decision. The Dodgers are in the thick of a pennant race, and, after failing to acquire Greg Maddux before the trade deadline, would love to see Kuroda become Maddux-like (Maddux-lite?) down the stretch.

Alexei Ramirez, OF/2B—#10—Chicago White Sox
Birthplace: Pinar del Rio, Cuba
After Ramirez hit a game-tying, eighth-inning home run on Aug. 5, White Sox coach Joey Cora—taking the post-game interview because manager Ozzie Guillen was serving a suspension—referred to Ramirez simply as “The Missile.” He never said his name. He felt no need to insert “Cuban” in front of it. Just, “The Missile.” As in, “I knew with The Missile up there, The Missile was going to come through.” So, while not only is the nickname completely bad-ass, it also speaks to just how far Ramirez has come in the course of one season. He’s now a fixture at second base (until next season, when he moves to short). When The Missile comes to the plate, fans expect good things to happen. He’s hitting .299 since the All-Star Break, and while I’d like to see him walk a little more (his OBP is .326 on the year) I’ll take these numbers from a “rookie” any day. So will Ozzie.

Yasuhiko Yabuta, RP—#27—Kansas City Royals
Birthplace: Osaka, Japan
Optioned to AAA-Omaha.